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Christian
Obedience: Beyond the Basics Obedience
has fallen on hard times. While the
word is still used by Christians, it is rarely understood in a healthy manner.
To most people it means surrendering all responsibility for actions and
behavior. Either they believe that
no one in their right mind should do this, or they embrace something like a
cult, believing that giving up all responsibility is the only way for Christians
to act. But
does true Christian obedience mean surrendering responsibility?
We know from looking at the English word “obedience,” that it comes
from the Latin obaudire, which means to listen well.
Many languages do not have separate words for listening and obedience.
Only as English speakers have lost touch with the roots of their
language, have they gradually slipped into this separation and misunderstanding.
Let
us look at the results of this misunderstanding and see if there is not another
way to approach this whole subject. I
believe that the most obvious result of our culture’s misunderstanding of
obedience is a breakdown in relationships.
Because we may rightly fear such giving up of all personal
responsibility, we have an unconscious aversion to getting close to almost
anyone, knowing that rightly or wrongly, obedience is at the heart of
relationships. We fear that our own
God-given self will be threatened by others; that we will not be able to grow
into our God-given gifts and potential if we live and work closely in contexts
such as marriage, a family, a parish or a monastery. I believe this helps to explain the statistical explosion,
even for otherwise-practicing Christians, of “live-in” relationships without
commitment often accompanied by inhuman work schedules euphemistically referred
to as “careers” or “professions.”
But
is it true that committed relationships limit our growth and personalities?
Are we deformed by sacrificing for the sake of others some of the ways we
might use our gifts and talents? Is
the choice to give up a pet dream, in order to make time for work to help
support a family or community, necessarily deadening?
Or on the other hand, is setting aside a career in order to have time to
raise our children or care for our elders necessarily less self-fulfilling? Is putting ourselves under monastic obedience the end of our
God-given personal growth and creativity? I
would say “No” to all of the above questions.
As Christians, we believe that God calls every one of us into being, and
by this creating call, wills us to live and work in a community of love.
Any tasks we may perform, any words we may use, any attitudes we may
hold, are sterile at best if we see ourselves “fulfilled” in isolation.
As human beings, we are made by God to be capable of growing into our
full potential only in communion with others.
We know that this is critically true of infants, who will die from simple
lack of human attention, even if they are given adequate food and shelter.
It is true also of adults who believe they have reached a level of
maturity where they no longer need others.
Their self-chosen tasks, whether practical or artistic, can lead to
ultimate insanity and death if this course of isolation is uncompromisingly
pursued. Yet
how do we work out our salvation in communion with others?
How do we avoid the pitfalls of isolation on the one hand, and abusive,
destructive relationships on the other? I
believe that we begin by learning literally to repent and to obey.
The English word “repent” in Scripture translates the Greek word metanoia,
or “change one’s mind (or heart).” According
to our faith, to grow into the fullness of being means an eternity of such
change and growth from the fallen human nature we inherit into participation in
the fullness of God’s own nature. This
was the first call of Christ when He began to preach:
“Repent and believe the Gospel.” (Mark 1:15) In
this Biblical sense, repentance and true obedience go hand in hand.
We must “listen” in order to hear the word of repentance.
Perhaps,
then, the best working definition of obedience for us today is “responsible
listening.” Through the obedience
of responsible listening, we begin to learn our limitations as well as our
strengths and potential. However,
listening does us no good if we do not respond appropriately. I would submit that true Christian obedience is a dialogue.
All persons involved in obedience must listen and respond appropriately.
A husband or wife who makes demands without seeing or listening to the
needs of the other spouse or family members becomes a tyrant and abuser, rather
than the head of the household. The
same is true of a monastic superior. Members
of a family, a monastery, or a parish should not exist only to fulfill or serve
the needs, desires or whims of the person with some kind of “authority.”
Christ Himself came not to be served but to serve (Matthew 20:28), and we
can have no greater authority than His. Since
my own experience of obedience has been gained within the monastery, I will
write of that experience. From what
I have learned however, it seems that the nature of obedience is the same both
in monasteries and in families. I
trust that what I write will also make sense to those who are not monastics.
Those who through circumstances or choice are not members of either a
family or a monastery may need to be more creative in discovering their own
obedience, within a parish or other church family, at work or with neighbors.
All of us need to learn to listen and respond with our heads and our
hearts together. For
a monastic, the obedience of responsible listening and responding appropriately
begins before entering the monastery. A
person may perceive a call from God. Such
a perceived call should always lead to repentance and newness of life.
But in the beginning, we never fully understand the direction to which
God is calling us. In The Ladder
of Divine Ascent, St. John Climacus tells us that this is a blessing – if
we could see the trials and difficulties ahead of us, we would never begin (Step
1:24). In
addition, he tells us that when we are seekers, we ourselves have vices and
pride that need correction. Therefore we must “test, as it were, the
superior,” before placing ourselves under obedience to him or her, so that we
do not mistake a sick man for a doctor, or a sailor for the pilot of the ship
(Step 4:6). For most of us,
this means first visiting several monasteries to get a perspective on the life
and on those who will be guiding us in it.
We need to ask questions and think things through. We should be looking for a monastery where we will be
supported in a lifetime of repentance. We
also need to understand that those responsible for the life of the monastery
will be asking questions and thinking things through with us as well.
It
is not inappropriate to ask at least as many questions as we would ask before
taking a new job. We should assume
nothing in the beginning and seek advice from others as well as making our own
observations. We should look at
those who have been formed by the life of the monastery over a period of time.
Are these people who can lead us by precept or example?
We should talk with those outside who are familiar with the monastery;
check its references, as it were, just as we can expect our own to be checked.
We need to be able to trust and talk openly and freely with those who
will be responsible for our souls. Does
the person who will be our mentor listen to us and respond appropriately to our
questions? Does he or she in turn
ask questions to learn about us? How
we approach our entry into monastic life (or marriage) may lead to success or
failure. We should realize that the
commitment of a lifetime needs a well-built foundation.
In St. Luke’s Gospel, we hear the Lord telling us that we should be
“… like
a man building a house, who dug deep, and laid the foundation upon rock; and
when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house, and could not shake it,
because it had been well built.” (Luke 6:48)
Later in that Gospel He speaks again about preparation:
“Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me, cannot be my
disciple. For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down
and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has
laid a foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him,
saying, `This man began to build, and was not able to finish.' Or what king,
going to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and take counsel
whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with
twenty thousand? And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends an
embassy and asks terms of peace. So therefore, whoever of you does not renounce
all that he has cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14: 27-33) It
is interesting to see that in St. Luke, the ability to bear our own cross and
renounce all that we have is equated with having the resources to begin a new
endeavor. Indeed, this is at the
heart of obedience. If we begin any
undertaking, great or small, simply by reckoning up our own natural gifts and
talents, or the possessions and wealth we may have acquired, we will not achieve
anything great for the Lord. We
must be willing to surrender all that we are and all that we have; to spend and
be spent. Again in St. Luke’s
Gospel, we find Jesus saying to all, “If any one would come after me, let him
deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save
his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake, he will save it.
For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits
himself?” (Luke 9:23-25) In
whatever we undertake, our first obedience must be to Christ.
We need to ask His guidance through prayer and searching the Scriptures,
taking His words to heart before we begin our journey.
If we read and re-read the Old and New Testaments with prayer and try to
understand words such as “obedience” from their context, rather than simply
reading our own contemporary misunderstandings into the context, we may be
surprised at what we find. The same
will be true as we read the other Christian scriptures: The Sayings of the
Desert Fathers and Mothers, the classics of St. Basil the Great, St. John
Chrysostom and St. John Climacus, down through the writings of the saints for
two thousand years into our own times. A
good guide will question us about our reading and point out references we might
well miss on our own as we lay our foundation in obedience. We
in monasteries who mentor women and men seeking to test their vocations must
likewise cultivate honesty and awareness. We
should not lead people on when we know our monastery cannot meet their needs.
Perhaps we can help them find another monastery better equipped to handle
their special gifts and talents as well as their limitations, or perhaps we
should help them accept another direction in their life. If
we are in a position of authority, we need to be aware that not everyone is able
to trust us and work with us. We
are not God, and if we sense that a person does not respect us, and the
authority we represent, we should not take them on. They cannot grow without the respect and trust in their
mentors that alone lead to responsible obedience. By
the same token, respect and trust normally take time to develop.
A quick “love at first sight” relationship may be superficial at
best, and certainly needs to be tested. Both
superiors and candidates (and couples in love) may be unaware that what seems to
be openness and candor can hide unknown depths.
Very few people are given the gift of complete self-knowledge.
We are all wounded, and God knows that we can come to see our own fallen
selves only gradually. The deeper
the wounds and hurts, the longer will be the healing process.
When major surgery is required for complete mending, the patient usually
needs a long period of time to get in shape for the procedure.
In my experience, the people with the deepest wounds may look the nicest
on the surface: They may not even
realize the extent of their inner damage and turmoil. They sense only a great
need to keep up a pleasant exterior, and that absorbs all of their energy.
A
truly healthy person in this fallen universe is not free of troubles and
illness, but rather has the awareness necessary to use the medicines and
therapies appropriate to his or her situation.
A monastic superior should rarely, if ever, try to take away such
medicines and therapies. It is true
that a person ought not to continue the use of crutches after healing has taken
place, but an outsider can rarely have the intuitive knowledge to discern when
that moment has come. The best we
can do is question and encourage – and accept that there will be some people
whose illnesses are too severe to be handled with our monastery’s resources.
God has other plans for them. This
process of discernment at the start of a person’s monastic vocation is
critical if obedience is to be freely given.
If obedience is forced; if a person’s responses to what he or she hears
are based on fear rather than freedom and love, a faulty foundation has been
laid. A critical time always comes
for such a person when the reason for this fear has been removed.
Someone may eventually perceive, for example, that they could
survive as a Christian in the world; that they will not be damned to hell if
they leave the monastery. This
is a common reason why many people suddenly leave the monastery even after many
years, with little or no warning -- especially those who have outwardly appeared
to be very “obedient,” always doing as they were told without questioning or
complaining. If there had
been more dialogue, if someone had known their thoughts and difficulties, if
their obedience had literally been more “response-able,” they might have had
the freedom to choose monastic life again on a solid basis when their fear left
them. St.
Benedict, a Sixth Century monastic guide who lived in the West yet drew on the
wisdom of the Eastern Desert Fathers, sets out some definite guidelines for
obedience within the monastery, once the discernment has been made that a person
should enter and test their vocation. He
states that the abbot or superior shall do nothing without taking counsel (The
Rule, Chapter 3). He further
states that if the superior asks someone to take on a task, if that person
believes the task to be beyond their capabilities, they should say so, with all
respect and courtesy (The Rule, Chapter 68).
This is absolutely necessary for responsible obedience.
We may know something our superior does not know, and if we withhold this
knowledge, then the failure of our task lies with us, not with those who have
asked us to perform it. On the
other hand, others may see strengths and potentials within us that we cannot see
ourselves. Very often, after
hearing the objections of a monastic, a superior may nevertheless encourage the
person to try a difficult task. If
we trust our superior, we may well discover gifts we had not realized we had. And even if the task is beyond our best efforts, we (and our
superior) will have learned something, both about the task and about our own
limitations. Thus obedience can
also lead to true humility, the greatest gift of Christian life. Especially
at the beginning of our monastic life, before we “know the ropes,” in
addition to voicing our doubts and objections, we need to ask further questions
about our obedience. Does the
person giving us our task (who may not be the superior of the monastery) want us
to go ahead on our own, finding and using the appropriate tools and procedures?
Or does she want us to work under her direction, using the procedures and
tools she recommends? If we want to
learn the ways of the monastery and learn to work with our sisters, we should be
ready to accept either approach. As
adults, we should realize that obedience is not a power struggle between two
persons, but rather a dialogue by which the will of God is discerned in things
both small and great. On
the side of those in authority, those who direct or give tasks to others in the
monastery must make sure that the resources of time and tools are available.
Miracles can and do happen when monastics obey impossible requests out of
humility, love and trust. Nevertheless,
we must be sure we would be willing to follow a direction ourselves before we
give it to others. If we have not
proved that we can be obedient, how can we even know how to ask such obedience
of others? In such an atmosphere of
understanding and trust, all those living within the monastery, superiors and
others, will find themselves challenged to grow beyond their self-imposed
limitations and grow into the fullness of their God-given potential. It
should be obvious in this setting that a superior cannot claim to voice the will
of God and speak in the Holy Spirit if she herself is unwilling to listen.
She may need to make an unpopular decision, but when she believes that is
necessary, she must be very certain that she is basing the decision on more than
her own knowledge. The greater the
decision, the greater will be her need for counsel.
And if the decision will affect the ongoing life of the monastery, then
she needs to hear the thoughts and feelings of every person in it, including the
most recent arrival. (Cf. The
Rule, St. Benedict, chapter 3) While
her own obedience does mean that she is to make the final decisions within the
monastery, if she does not make them in an appropriate way, responding to
situations and people first with listening and prayer, those decisions will be
to her condemnation. She needs to
remember that the monastery is not hers, but God’s, and that the salvation and
welfare of her sisters is her priority, not her own needs and wishes.
She needs to maintain a healthy balance between the needs of the sisters,
both as individuals and as a group, and the work necessary to maintain the
functioning of the monastery. She
and her sisters also need to remember that her own needs must be cared for,
however, or she will not be able to be fully present for her sisters.
In
a monastery, as in a family, a parish or other church organization, wonderful,
blessed things can happen when each and every person listens and responds
appropriately to what is asked of them. Truly
God is in the midst of such a place and there are no limits to what can be done
in love for His glory and for the salvation of all mankind. |